Listen, Affirm, Respond, Add — defuse and stay in dialogue.
A four-step communication method for charged conversations across difference. It keeps a hard exchange from escalating while still letting you make your point.
When to use it
Grievance meetings, heated bargaining moments, any conversation running hot.
How to use it
1Listen for the interest or value underneath.
2Affirm what you genuinely can — respect, not necessarily agreement.
3Respond to the actual concern.
4Add your perspective or information.
Takeaway
You can hold your position and the relationship at the same time.